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Man with hand in pocket always feels cocky.

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Go to bed with itchy butt. Wake up with stinky finger.

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Never do beer bongs blindfolded!

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Like that one. Should be followed closely by:

It's not the fall that gets you, it's that sudden stop at the end.

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"You've heard of not gettng into a land war in Asia", as well as "do not go in with a Sicilian when death is on the line". My friend, never EVER bet AGAINST Liverpool in Europe.

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Just ask for help when you need it.

Don't throw full lighters into fires.

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He who hesitates masterbates

Go ugly early

If you are gonna crash (helicopter) put the cyclic up your ass. Makes it more interesting for crash investigation.

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Amen, brother. :)

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:lv:lv:r

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Combat stress. Pay him no nevermind. :D

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7Ps: PROPER PRIOR PLANNING PREVENTS PISS POOR PERFORMANCE

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Live in the present, forgive your past.

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Here's the three most important things for a great life:

#1: Respect for all living things.

#2: A healthy bowel movement on a regular basis.

#3: A navy blue blazer.

And, oh, yes, don't take your eye off the ball!

PS - Plagiarized from The Fisher King...:ss

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#2 is #1

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Gotta revive this thread.

He that has chili dog for lunch should not burp in paint mask.

Don't ask. :pu

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Don't pull your love out on me, baby, If you do then I think that maybe I'll just lay me down and cry for a hundred years.

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Or... don't fry bacon without pants on. ouch.

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"Don't cross the beams"- Egon Spengler

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Measure Twice. Cut Once.

Orgnaization is the key to success.

Sometimes you need to slow down in order to speed up.

Keep it simple, stupid!

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Slow is smooth and smooth is fast.

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When I had a desion to make my dad would always say, "Do what you think is best".

Now I get to say that to my sons!!!

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When your kids are home, always lock the bedroom door before having sex. You don't want them accidentally walking in. :o




Lucy, you have a lot of 'splainin' to do!:D

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Look where you want to go - for things like skiing, mountain biking, driving, etc. If you're looking at the big rock or tree you DON'T want to hit, you'll hit it. So just look where you want to go.

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Ignorance can be fixed. Stupidity is forever.

The quality of a man's life is in direct proportion to his commitment to excellence.
-Vince Lombardi

If you would make a man happy, add not to his wants, but subtract from the sum of his desires." - Seneca (4 B.C.E.-65 A.C.E.)

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Just because it comes in your size does not mean buy it.

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needing and wanting are two different things...Do you need that or do you just want it? :D

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"Be sure you're right, then go ahead"

"You may all go to hell. Me? I'm going to Texas"

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Try to refrain from posting during/while/after chugging cold meds all day.

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A bird in the bush is worth two in the hand........

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I'd rather be judged by twelve than to be carried by six.

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* * Look in ALL your purses for that misplaced Palio before ordering a new one. * *

Even that fugly purse your Mom gave you from her old lady purse party circuit.

Because THAT'S what you hauled your cigars n stuff in when you went to dinner at Mom's last weekend, ya goofball! GOOFBALL!

[fugly cigar purse gif here] :r

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One of my all time favorites, Cliff. :)

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"Choose a job you love, and you'll never work a day in your life."

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when in doubt, empty the mag.

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I always hated that one... slow is slow. but I guess if you mean slow is smooth, smooth eventually makes you fast....

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If you're going to cheat, don't copy the dumb person's paper. Copy answers from the smart person.

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Why do today what you can put off til tomorrow!

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Want in one hand, and sh*t in the other, and see which one fills up first.

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I can't believe I forgot this one...
"If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

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Life is like a s**t sandwich.

The more bread you have, the less s**t you have to eat.

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:r Ain't that the truth! :r

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Knowledge speaks, but Wisdom listens.
-- Jimi Hendrix

Learn from the mistakes of others-you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
-- John Luther


Think ocaisionally of the suffering of which you spare yourself the sight.
--Albert Schweitzer

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If it doesn't work, it's physics.

If it wiggles, it's biology.

If it stinks, it's chemistry.