St. Paddy's
Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
A: Regular rocks are too heavy.
Q: Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they're always a little short.
Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A: He's Dublin over with laughter!
Q: What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick's Day?
A: St. O'Claus!
Q: Are people jealous of the Irish?
A: Sure, they're green with envy!
Q: What would you get if you crossed Quasimodo with an Irish football player?
A: The Halfback of Notre Dame!
Q: Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?
A: Because they're very short-tempered!
"I married an Irishman on St. Patrick's Day."
"Oh, really?"
"No, O'Reilly!"
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...So don't sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied,
Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance that tide
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