[RightAJ]

Got this email today, thought some of them were funny

aj

> QUESTIONS
>
>
>
> Can
> you cry under water?
>
>
> How important does a person have to be
> before they are considered assassinated instead of just
> murdered?
>
>
> Why do you have to 'put your two
> cents in'... but it's only a 'penny
> for your
> thoughts'? Where's that extra
> penny going
> to?
>
>
>
>
> Once
> you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes
> you were buried in for
> eternity?
>
>
> Why does a
> round pizza come in a square box?
>
>
> What
> disease did cured ham actually have?
>
>
> How is it
> that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would
> be a good idea to put
> wheels on luggage?
>
> Why
> is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when
> babies wake up like every
> two hours?
>
>
> If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still
> called a hearing?
>
>
>
> Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON
> TV?
>
>
> Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then
> put money in binoculars to look at things on the
> ground?
>
>
> Why do doctors leave the room while you
> change?
> They're
> going to see you naked anyway...
>
>
> Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties'
> plural?
>
>
> Why do toasters always have a setting that burns
> the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being
> would
> eat?
>
>
> If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is
> there a stupid song about
> him?
>
>
>
> If
> the professor on Gilligan's
> Island can make a radio out of a
> coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a
> boat?
>
>
> Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto
> remains on all fours?
> They're
> both dogs!
>
>
> If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that
> ACME crap, why didn't he just buy
> dinner?
>
>
> If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil
> is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made
> from?
>
>
> If electricity comes from electrons, does morality
> come from morons?
>
>
> Do the Alphabet
> song and
> Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
> tune?
>
>
> Why did you just try singing the two songs
> above?
>
>
> Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside
> the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in
> your
> butt?
>
>
> Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
> face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car
> ride, he sticks his
> head out the window?
>
> Why,
> Why, Why
>
>
>
>
> Why do we press harder on a remote control when we
> know the batteries are getting dead?
>
> Why
> do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when
> they know there is not enough
> money?
>
> Why
> does someone believe
>
> you when you say there are four billion stars, but check
> when you say the paint
> is wet?
>
>
>
>
> Why
> do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal
> injection?
>
> Why
> doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
>
> Why
> does Superman stop
> bullets with his chest, but
> ducks when you throw a revolver at
> him?
>
> Why
> do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
>
> Whose
> idea was it to put an 'S' in the word
> 'lisp'?
>
> If
> people evolved from apes,
> why
> are there still apes?
>
> Why
> is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use
> the bubbles are always
> white?
>
> Is
> there ever a day that mattresses
> are
> not on sale?
>
> Why
> do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes
> that something new to
> eat will have materialized?
>
> Why
> do people keep running over a string a dozen times with
> their vacuum cleaner,
> then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down
> to give the vacuum one
> more chance?
>
> Why
> is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your
> first
> try?
>
> How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed
> light fixtures?
>
> When
> we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
> shopping cart then
> apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all
> right?' Well, it isn't all
> right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why
> don't you watch where you're
> going?'
>
> Why
> is it that whenever you attempt to catch something
> that's falling off the table
> you always manage to knock something else over?
>
> In
> winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in
> summer when we
> complained about the heat?
>
> How
> come you never hear father-in-law
> jokes?