For The Holidays

shilala · 11-23-2012, 08:27 AM

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like hell they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving. Now what do we tell them for Christmas?"

kelmac07 · 11-23-2012, 10:37 AM

The Poet · 11-23-2012, 10:52 AM

Hmmm. Most family holidays END with a big fight. I guess it makes more sense to get it outta the way early, so that everything's uphill from there.

cmitch · 11-23-2012, 09:59 PM

At my family GTG's, they always checked to see if we had a gun. If we didn't, they gave us one.

11-24-2012, 05:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cmitch

At my family GTG's, they always checked to see if we had a gun. If we didn't, they gave us one.

haha... Nice add on...

Skywalker · 11-27-2012, 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cmitch

At my family GTG's, they always checked to see if we had a gun. If we didn't, they gave us one.

363 · 11-23-2012, 10:10 PM

Haha

11-23-2012, 08:27 AM	#1
shilala Dear Lord, Thank You. Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Posts: 13,721 Trading: (252)	For The Holidays An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough." "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up. Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like hell they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving. Now what do we tell them for Christmas?" __________________

11-23-2012, 10:37 AM	#2
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: For The Holidays __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

11-23-2012, 10:52 AM	#3
The Poet Il megglior fabbro Join Date: Jun 2009 First Name: Thomas Location: Hickory, NC Posts: 8,420 Trading: (2)	Re: For The Holidays Hmmm. Most family holidays END with a big fight. I guess it makes more sense to get it outta the way early, so that everything's uphill from there. __________________ Ninety percent of everything is crap - Theodore Sturgeon.

11-23-2012, 09:59 PM	#4
cmitch Heads up get down Join Date: Oct 2010 First Name: Clayton Location: NW Alabama by the river Posts: 2,720 Trading: (25)	Re: For The Holidays At my family GTG's, they always checked to see if we had a gun. If we didn't, they gave us one. __________________ No matter what one's status is in society, cigars are the great equalizer where the affluent and common share a love for the leaf. - Me.

11-23-2012, 10:10 PM	#7
363 Infecting Via PM Join Date: May 2012 First Name: Brendon Location: Maryland Posts: 1,773 Trading: (35)	Re: For The Holidays Haha __________________ Support our Troops "do NOT put pizza in your briar without letting it cool off Brendon" - Sterns