BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever - Page 2

tunes · 03-13-2009, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tobii3

BETWEEN THE HOLIDAYS!!!

Damn...you young'ns can't get a simple pickup line right!!!

WildBlueSooner · 03-13-2009, 04:58 PM

- Your Dad must be a farmer..cause you have some great melons!
-Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
-I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
-If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? [No] Well, I don't, so let's go.
-Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?
- Oh, you're a bird watcher. [Pull out your dong] Well, would you take this for a swallow?

03-13-2009, 05:16 PM

Hey you're taller than I am, wanna ****?

That worked for me once. Seriously.

03-13-2009, 07:44 PM

Do you work at subway??? because you just gave me a footlong!!!

i’m blind, can you hold my stick and show me where to go?

Do u work for Cingular? Cuz you’re raising my bar.

BamBam · 03-13-2009, 07:59 PM

The word of the day is "Legs"...spread the word

smokeyandthebandit05 · 03-13-2009, 08:03 PM

Man I love these!!! Keep em comin, Im taking notes!

CBI_2 · 03-13-2009, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Commander Quan

Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really we'll, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.

Dang! Supposed to be trying to pick her up not put her to sleep.

My wife says with all of these lines in this thread, it's a wonder anyone ever got any.

You may like: "The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name."

Sailkat · 03-13-2009, 08:40 PM

GreekGodX · 03-13-2009, 09:03 PM

Walk up to a woman, check the label of her shirt. "Ahah, just as I thought, MADE IN HEAVEN"!

Hey baby your ass looks like a keg, how bout you let me tap that!

GUY: *make sound like an ambulance
Girl: What is that noise?
GUY: It's the ambulance coming to pick me up because you took my breath away.

Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

And my all time favorite.
I only have 3 months to live..

Kreth · 03-13-2009, 09:09 PM

It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.

MedicCook · 03-13-2009, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kreth

It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.

We have a winner!!

Curly Cut · 03-13-2009, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kreth

It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.

-----

wanna go halves on a bastard?

replicant_argent · 03-13-2009, 09:17 PM

when you go to the State Fair....

Look around......

Look at all the kids...

With hideous desperate mommies....

and you know why some of these work......

HK3- · 03-13-2009, 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WildBlueSooner

- Your Dad must be a farmer..cause you have some great melons!
-Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
-I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
-If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? [No] Well, I don't, so let's go.
-Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?
- Oh, you're a bird watcher. [Pull out your dong] Well, would you take this for a swallow?

That's sweet! I'm still laughing my ass off!

03-13-2009, 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sailkat

OK sleepy, let's hear from a women what works.

macpappy · 03-13-2009, 10:20 PM

Who needs pickup lines?
Three weeks ago my son and I go out for a drink at a local bar. We sit down, light our cigars and 20 minutes later a women who claimed she was a professional barrel racer sat down next to me and tried to pick me up. She started by saying, "That cigar smells good..."

Last week, my son and I went to a different bar. Grabbed a table in the corner and a pitcher of beer. The table next to us has a really hot brunette with very nice tattoos covering parts of her body made visible by a very low cut crop top t-shirt. When her boyfriend leaves, she turns around, puts her hands on my leg and tells me she likes my cigar and my t-shirt (I was wearing a freaking t-shirt I bought at wally word, for gods sake).

It must have been the cigars....

replicant_argent · 03-13-2009, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by macpappy

Who needs pickup lines?
Three weeks ago my son and I go out for a drink at a local bar. We sit down, light our cigars and 20 minutes later a women who claimed she was a professional barrel racer sat down next to me and tried to pick me up. She started by saying, "That cigar smells good..."

Last week, my son and I went to a different bar. Grabbed a table in the corner and a pitcher of beer. The table next to us has a really hot brunette with very nice tattoos covering parts of her body made visible by a very low cut crop top t-shirt. When her boyfriend leaves, she turns around, puts her hands on my leg and tells me she likes my cigar and my t-shirt (I was wearing a freaking t-shirt I bought at wally word, for gods sake).

It must have been the cigars....

I thought they just made gas pumps prepay.....

DrDubzz · 03-13-2009, 11:57 PM

uh... is your father a meat burgler?

cause it looks like he stole two fine hams and stuck them in the back of your pants

- Leon Phelps

03-16-2009, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Commander Quan

Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really we'll, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.

I love it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tobii3

BETWEEN THE HOLIDAYS!!!

Damn...you young'ns can't get a simple pickup line right!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by WildBlueSooner

-Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.

Too damn funny! I've never heard this one!

ade06 · 03-16-2009, 12:26 PM

I got my own trailer...
(A girl I knew in college told me someone hit her with that one and no, it did not work)

03-13-2009, 04:58 PM	#22
WildBlueSooner I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Feb 2009 First Name: James Location: Lexington, KY Posts: 3,322 Trading: (19)	Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever - Your Dad must be a farmer..cause you have some great melons! -Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one. -I lost my virginity. Can I have yours? -If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? [No] Well, I don't, so let's go. -Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some? - Oh, you're a bird watcher. [Pull out your dong] Well, would you take this for a swallow? __________________ "To dilute the will to win is to destroy the purpose of the game. There is no substitute for victory"-- Douglas MacArthur

03-13-2009, 05:16 PM	#23
MithShrike Guest Posts: n/a	Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever Hey you're taller than I am, wanna ****? That worked for me once. Seriously.

03-13-2009, 07:44 PM	#24
Cigary Guest Posts: n/a	Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever Do you work at subway??? because you just gave me a footlong!!! i’m blind, can you hold my stick and show me where to go? Do u work for Cingular? Cuz you’re raising my bar.

03-13-2009, 07:59 PM	#25
BamBam Just Pipin' Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 1,299 Trading: (37)	Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever The word of the day is "Legs"...spread the word

03-13-2009, 08:03 PM	#26
smokeyandthebandit05 Feeling at Home Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Rich Location: Branchville Posts: 758 Trading: (1)	Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever Man I love these!!! Keep em comin, Im taking notes! __________________ MIAMI CANES 9-4 NJ DEVILS 37-21-3

03-13-2009, 08:40 PM	#28
Sailkat Smooth sailing Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Kat Location: St. Clair Shores, MI Posts: 638 Trading: (5)	Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever __________________ "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Oscar Wilde

03-13-2009, 09:03 PM	#29
GreekGodX Opa!! Join Date: Mar 2009 First Name: Christos Location: 7 Line Posts: 4,894 Trading: (82)	Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever Walk up to a woman, check the label of her shirt. "Ahah, just as I thought, MADE IN HEAVEN"! Hey baby your ass looks like a keg, how bout you let me tap that! GUY: make sound like an ambulance Girl: What is that noise? GUY: It's the ambulance coming to pick me up because you took my breath away. Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!* Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. Do you know what'd look good on you? Me. And my all time favorite. I only have 3 months to live.. __________________ "If I give a businessman 10,000 francs, what is that to him, he is rich. But if I give him a Cohiba cigar, that is style."-Hotel Rwanda

03-13-2009, 09:09 PM	#30
Kreth Ronin smoker Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Jeff Location: Oneonta, NY Posts: 3,620 Trading: (14)	Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.

03-13-2009, 09:17 PM	#33
replicant_argent Gravy Boat Winnah. Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Pete Location: my attorney has advised against giving this information to insane people Posts: 5,326 Trading: (22)	Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever when you go to the State Fair.... Look around...... Look at all the kids... With hideous desperate mommies.... and you know why some of these work...... __________________ www.stogietorch.com Some days call for a stiff Pomade.

03-13-2009, 10:20 PM	#36
macpappy Rider on the storm. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Slidell, LA Posts: 851 Trading: (0)	Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever Who needs pickup lines? Three weeks ago my son and I go out for a drink at a local bar. We sit down, light our cigars and 20 minutes later a women who claimed she was a professional barrel racer sat down next to me and tried to pick me up. She started by saying, "That cigar smells good..." Last week, my son and I went to a different bar. Grabbed a table in the corner and a pitcher of beer. The table next to us has a really hot brunette with very nice tattoos covering parts of her body made visible by a very low cut crop top t-shirt. When her boyfriend leaves, she turns around, puts her hands on my leg and tells me she likes my cigar and my t-shirt (I was wearing a freaking t-shirt I bought at wally word, for gods sake). It must have been the cigars.... __________________ WARNING: I am a Southern White Male. I have a brain and I know how to use it.

03-13-2009, 11:57 PM	#38
DrDubzz Formerly RX2010 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tim Location: England Posts: 2,203 Trading: (34)	Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever uh... is your father a meat burgler? cause it looks like he stole two fine hams and stuck them in the back of your pants - Leon Phelps

03-16-2009, 12:26 PM	#40
ade06 Have My Own Room Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Ade Location: Philadelphia Posts: 1,190 Trading: (24)	Re: BEST PICK-UP LINES....ever I got my own trailer... (A girl I knew in college told me someone hit her with that one and no, it did not work)