Great One Liners

CBI_2 · 08-27-2010, 06:08 PM

Some great one liners from stand up comic Jay London.

A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.

A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.

After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride.

I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.

I saw a stationery store move.

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.

I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.

My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.

Skywalker · 09-01-2010, 12:34 AM

Nice!!!

Reminds me of Rodney Dangerfield!!!

Parshooter · 09-01-2010, 07:19 AM

Although she was only a bourbon maker, I loved her still.

bigdix · 09-01-2010, 07:21 AM

So this baby seal walks into a club.

08-27-2010, 06:08 PM	#1
CBI_2 Have My Own Room Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Paul Location: In my skin. Posts: 2,066 Trading: (0)	Great One Liners Some great one liners from stand up comic Jay London. A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked. A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock. After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride. I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm. I saw a stationery store move. I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world. I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough. I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out. I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out. I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody. My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless. __________________ "The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." Albert Camus Cool Cigar Themed Stuff

09-01-2010, 12:34 AM	#2
Skywalker BABOTL Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dice Location: Galaxy Far Far Away Posts: 10,168 Trading: (18)	Re: Great One Liners Nice!!! Reminds me of Rodney Dangerfield!!! __________________ Smoke what you like!!!

09-01-2010, 07:19 AM	#3
Parshooter I'm a friend of Gary S Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Marc Location: St Somewhere Posts: 835 Trading: (2)	Re: Great One Liners Although she was only a bourbon maker, I loved her still. __________________ I love chicks with FLBP.

09-01-2010, 07:21 AM	#4
bigdix Cigarmurai Join Date: Jul 2010 First Name: Dan Location: Oki Posts: 669 Trading: (1)	Re: Great One Liners So this baby seal walks into a club. __________________ There's no secret handshake. There's an IQ prerequisite, but there's no secret handshake.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode