EMAILS FROM AN A$$HOLE (I didn't say Ma$$hole)

Omg

c'mon, it isn't like i'm eating the animals after i kill them. I just kill them because i hate deer.

I can't tell you how many times I've stepped in deer sh!t - they sh!t everywhere. They are worse than old people.

OMG - now i'm finished w/ reading it but I can't stop laughing.

From Me to Joanna ********:

Wow, I never thought I would find someone as pretentious as Bono, but you take the cake. Next time I bite into a savory beef brisket, I'll think of you.

[yourchoice]

I almost forgot, if the police come, I need you to hide some weed and a bong that I left on the kitchen counter. Just put the weed in your pocket so they don't notice it when they are talking to you about the alarm, and maybe stuff some flowers in the bong so they think it is a vase.

[Sauer Grapes]

Figured I'd bump this for the most current emails. The most recent had me laughing for a good five minutes. My side still hurts.

http://www.dontevenreply.com/