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#44 |
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Have My Own Room
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"So ugly she'd make a freight train take a dirt road"
"It don't TAKE all kinds, son, we just GOT all kinds!" (A friend's dad used to say that in reply to "Well, it takes all kinds.")
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Any gathering that includes Elderboy02 is "NKA"-- --No Ketchup Allowed. |
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#45 |
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Dear Lord, Thank You.
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Busier than a cat covering sh1t on a hot tin roof.
Like trying to stick a wet noodle up a wildcat's ass. Don't know if your ass is punched or bored. Hard as a diamond in an ice storm.
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#48 |
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Haberdasher
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Like trying to herd cats.
A long row to hoe. Folded like a cheap suit. Be on you like white on rice.
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Somebody has to go back and get a chitload of dimes |
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#49 |
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Haberdasher
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Heard and said more last night:
Nutty as a fruit cake. Dry as a popcorn fart. She's got snakes in her head. Cool as a cucumber. Dead as a doornail. Dead as Abraham Lincoln.
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Somebody has to go back and get a chitload of dimes |
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#52 |
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Haberdasher
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Thick as the hair on a hog's back.
Manners of a hyena. Cute as a button. Ray Charles could see that. If it was a snake it would have bitten you.
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Somebody has to go back and get a chitload of dimes |
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#54 |
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Dad Jokester Supreme
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Slicker than snot on a door knob
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...So don't sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied, Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance that tide |
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#55 |
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Adjusting to the Life
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Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
Colder than a witche's t*t in a brass bra. It's raining like a cow p*ssing on a flat rock. Hotter than a whore on dollar night. Worthless as a poop flavored lollipop. Dumber than a stump. Nuttier than squirrel turds. To list a few. I love this thread
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Life is hard, but it's harder when you're stupid. - John Wayne |
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#56 |
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Have My Own Room
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More confused than a newborn in a topless bar.
$h!t or get off the pot. You have to be 10% smarter than what you are working on.
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"The government turns every contingency into an excuse for enhancing power in itself." |
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#58 |
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Dad Jokester Supreme
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Was (and is) one of my dad's favorites!
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...So don't sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied, Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance that tide |
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#59 |
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Suck It
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My first sargent walked past me and a buddy of mine coming into the chow hall and said
"It'd take a full house to beat THIS pair." I always thought that was the best freaking line. The military seems to be the birthplace of the wildest ones. |
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#60 |
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Just in from the Storm
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Dense as pound cake.
Like fighting the Chinese army. Hard as pushing chickens in a ditch. Like a monkey peeing off a cliff...little bit go a long way. Lower than whale $hit. Went to $hit & the pigs ate ya. Fell to the bottom of the pond & the catfish/carp ate ya. Beat you like corndog batter/pancake batter/a rug. Beat you til you smell like onions. |
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