Looking for free fat black pens from funeral homes

I've got an inexplicable interest in the funerary/mortuary-related side of life; think it comes from being a writer and reflecting so much on the big questions.

The other part is, things just look great in black.

Anyway, could somebody in the know maybe help me out? I do a lot of writing, and I need a few solid thick pens to keep on hand. I'll be more than happy to foot the postage if you could.

Thanks for any considerations - Kegan