Maybe Even Better Than Cigars...

shilala · 02-07-2013, 11:44 AM

I love tools. Woodworking tools are my favorite, but I'm just a flat-out tool buying pig. Even worse than cigars. In fact, way worse than cigars.

Every time I undertake a big project, I always buy a tool. I've been doing that for the last 30 years, I bet. My brother put it in my head cause when we were kids we always needed tools to do cement jobs or digging jobs or whatever we could get ourselves into. There was money in them tools!!!

I still do that to this day. If the project can't afford a tool, it'll wait. I have never bought anything but the best, and as a result I have everything I've gathered and it all works great. I'm super anal about caring for them, replacing parts, keeping them clean and serviced, plumbed and squared, or whatever they need. That's why they last.

The story aside, I thought it was funny when I got so excited when I pulled this vise out of the box. It's a Jorgenson 13" opening quick-release front vise for my nesting workbench. I'll have two of them on there, this is the first one. Amazon didn't send the other, I have no idea why.
It is a gorgeous piece of metal, and although I already smashed my fingers with it, I still love it. I can't wait to get it mounted, but I don't have time right now. Soon though.

icehog3 · 02-07-2013, 01:17 PM

I thought this thread would either be about bacon or Mila Kunis. Or Mila Kunis dressed in a bacon thong.

I know you are a tool guy, Scott, but I am majorly disappointed right now.

Dave128 · 02-07-2013, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3

I thought this thread would either be about bacon or Mila Kunis. Or Mila Kunis dressed in a bacon thong.

I know you are a tool guy, Scott, but I am majorly disappointed right now.

emopunker2004 · 02-07-2013, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3

I thought this thread would either be about bacon or Mila Kunis. Or Mila Kunis dressed in a bacon thong.

I know you are a tool guy, Scott, but I am majorly disappointed right now.

shilala · 02-07-2013, 03:02 PM

The only Mila/bacon combo I could really appreciate is Mila Kunis with a couple pounds of bacon tamped in her mouth so I can't hear her. While she's washing my car.
Oh, that'd kick ass!!!

SvilleKid · 02-07-2013, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shilala

The only Mila/bacon combo I could really appreciate is Mila Kunis with a couple pounds of bacon tamped in her mouth so I can't hear her. While she's washing my car.
Oh, that'd kick ass!!!

Agreed, Scott!

icehog3 · 02-07-2013, 04:33 PM

So I won't have any competition from you two Dudes, good news.

SvilleKid · 02-07-2013, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3

So I won't have any competition from you two Dudes, good news.

You are 100% welcome to her, Tom!!! I'll send you some duct tape for her mouth!!

Dave128 · 02-07-2013, 08:27 PM

I take it you didn't see "Ted", Scott?

BHalbrooks · 02-07-2013, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3

I thought this thread would either be about bacon or Mila Kunis. Or Mila Kunis dressed in a bacon thong.

I know you are a tool guy, Scott, but I am majorly disappointed right now.

No ass? No thanks!

icehog3 · 02-07-2013, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SvilleKid

You are 100% welcome to her, Tom!!! I'll send you some duct tape for her mouth!!

No, I want her in only bacon, Cliff.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dave128

I take it you didn't see "Ted", Scott?

Or Black Swan.

shark · 02-08-2013, 05:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3

I thought this thread would either be about bacon or Mila Kunis. Or Mila Kunis dressed in a bacon thong.

I know you are a tool guy, Scott, but I am majorly disappointed right now.

How about Mila in a red dress?

Emjaysmash · 02-08-2013, 06:04 AM

Very cool! What other tools do ou have? I know nothing about tools, the te scientist in me likes pictures.

icehog3 · 02-08-2013, 08:37 AM

Put on your red dress, and dance the blues...under the moonlght, the serious moonlight.

MajorCaptSilly · 02-08-2013, 09:47 AM

This thread gets my wood working.

MCS

14holestogie · 02-08-2013, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly

This thread gets my wood working.

MCS

STEVE S · 02-08-2013, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly

This thread gets my wood working.

MCS

for more pictures.

maninblack · 02-08-2013, 10:28 AM

All I can think about is Mila in a bacon thong. Now my day at work is going to be very unproductive. Not that I was going to do anything anyways.

shilala · 02-08-2013, 02:37 PM

Welp, I didn't get to hurt myself with the second vise. I smashed my fingers with the first one and cut myself 3 or 4 times.
This one arrived broke. A mounting tab on the body casting. I packed her up and it'll be a week or better until the other one gets here. They said they'd ship on the 14th, I don't know why it'll be so long.
I had read in the reviews at Amazon about how many of these vises arrive broken, and it was pretty alarming. Amazon pays the shipping to send it (free shipping on this bad boy), return it, and send a new one, $38.95 a throw. So at this point, they have $120 shipping wrapped up in a $150 vise. If the next one arrives broken, they'll have $240 wrapped up in a $150 vise.
The big, heavy sumb1tch is just thrown in a cardboard box. No foam, no nothing. You'd think they'd use those plastic bags and squirt foam, then maybe Jorgensen could make some money. It's no skin off my ass, but it's a really, really nice vise. They'll quit making them if they're not making any coin, and that'd suck. It's nearly impossible to even find a good bench vise, because the good companies have all closed their doors.

Anyways, I got the bench all cut out and installed the backing on both sides, so when the replacement gets here it'll only take 15 minutes or so to mount it.
It'd take me at least 4 or 5 hours to get drunk enough to mount Mila, so that's not bad, relatively speaking.

icehog3 · 02-08-2013, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shilala

It'd take me at least 4 or 5 hours to get drunk enough to mount Mila, so that's not bad, relatively speaking.

No sweat, I can keep her occupied for 4 hours, Scott.

02-07-2013, 11:44 AM	#1
shilala Dear Lord, Thank You. Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Posts: 13,721 Trading: (252)	Maybe Even Better Than Cigars... I love tools. Woodworking tools are my favorite, but I'm just a flat-out tool buying pig. Even worse than cigars. In fact, way worse than cigars. Every time I undertake a big project, I always buy a tool. I've been doing that for the last 30 years, I bet. My brother put it in my head cause when we were kids we always needed tools to do cement jobs or digging jobs or whatever we could get ourselves into. There was money in them tools!!! I still do that to this day. If the project can't afford a tool, it'll wait. I have never bought anything but the best, and as a result I have everything I've gathered and it all works great. I'm super anal about caring for them, replacing parts, keeping them clean and serviced, plumbed and squared, or whatever they need. That's why they last. The story aside, I thought it was funny when I got so excited when I pulled this vise out of the box. It's a Jorgenson 13" opening quick-release front vise for my nesting workbench. I'll have two of them on there, this is the first one. Amazon didn't send the other, I have no idea why. It is a gorgeous piece of metal, and although I already smashed my fingers with it, I still love it. I can't wait to get it mounted, but I don't have time right now. Soon though. __________________

02-07-2013, 01:17 PM	#2
icehog3 Admiral Douchebag Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tom Location: Clermont, Kentucky Posts: 71,929 Trading: (60)	Re: Maybe Even Better Than Cigars... I thought this thread would either be about bacon or Mila Kunis. Or Mila Kunis dressed in a bacon thong. I know you are a tool guy, Scott, but I am majorly disappointed right now. __________________ Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!

02-07-2013, 03:02 PM	#5
shilala Dear Lord, Thank You. Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Posts: 13,721 Trading: (252)	Re: Maybe Even Better Than Cigars... The only Mila/bacon combo I could really appreciate is Mila Kunis with a couple pounds of bacon tamped in her mouth so I can't hear her. While she's washing my car. Oh, that'd kick ass!!! __________________

02-07-2013, 04:33 PM	#7
icehog3 Admiral Douchebag Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tom Location: Clermont, Kentucky Posts: 71,929 Trading: (60)	Re: Maybe Even Better Than Cigars... So I won't have any competition from you two Dudes, good news. __________________ Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!

02-07-2013, 08:27 PM	#9
Dave128 Sexy Dave Join Date: Feb 2009 First Name: Dave Location: Voorheesville, NY Posts: 3,923 Trading: (4)	Re: Maybe Even Better Than Cigars... I take it you didn't see "Ted", Scott? __________________ "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin I "heart" Boobies and Beer!

02-08-2013, 06:04 AM	#13
Emjaysmash The Hebrew Hammer Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: M.J. Location: Milwaukee, WI Posts: 7,025 Trading: (76)	Re: Maybe Even Better Than Cigars... Very cool! What other tools do ou have? I know nothing about tools, the te scientist in me likes pictures. __________________

02-08-2013, 08:37 AM	#14
icehog3 Admiral Douchebag Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tom Location: Clermont, Kentucky Posts: 71,929 Trading: (60)	Re: Maybe Even Better Than Cigars... Put on your red dress, and dance the blues...under the moonlght, the serious moonlight. __________________ Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!

02-08-2013, 09:47 AM	#15
MajorCaptSilly Sklee Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Location: Mishawaka, IN Posts: 2,523 Trading: (30)	Re: Maybe Even Better Than Cigars... This thread gets my wood working. MCS __________________ Pillsbury, Minneapolis, Prince, Spoon Bridge and Cherry, coinkydink?

02-08-2013, 10:28 AM	#18
maninblack Will smoke for food Join Date: Jan 2010 First Name: Kevin Location: Where the hoot owls f$ck the chickens Posts: 10,637 Trading: (80)	Re: Maybe Even Better Than Cigars... All I can think about is Mila in a bacon thong. Now my day at work is going to be very unproductive. Not that I was going to do anything anyways. __________________ Proud member of the GMCGTPWHAFA

02-08-2013, 02:37 PM	#19
shilala Dear Lord, Thank You. Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Posts: 13,721 Trading: (252)	Re: Maybe Even Better Than Cigars... Welp, I didn't get to hurt myself with the second vise. I smashed my fingers with the first one and cut myself 3 or 4 times. This one arrived broke. A mounting tab on the body casting. I packed her up and it'll be a week or better until the other one gets here. They said they'd ship on the 14th, I don't know why it'll be so long. I had read in the reviews at Amazon about how many of these vises arrive broken, and it was pretty alarming. Amazon pays the shipping to send it (free shipping on this bad boy), return it, and send a new one, $38.95 a throw. So at this point, they have $120 shipping wrapped up in a $150 vise. If the next one arrives broken, they'll have $240 wrapped up in a $150 vise. The big, heavy sumb1tch is just thrown in a cardboard box. No foam, no nothing. You'd think they'd use those plastic bags and squirt foam, then maybe Jorgensen could make some money. It's no skin off my ass, but it's a really, really nice vise. They'll quit making them if they're not making any coin, and that'd suck. It's nearly impossible to even find a good bench vise, because the good companies have all closed their doors. Anyways, I got the bench all cut out and installed the backing on both sides, so when the replacement gets here it'll only take 15 minutes or so to mount it. It'd take me at least 4 or 5 hours to get drunk enough to mount Mila, so that's not bad, relatively speaking. __________________