Ask The Rabbi!!

TomHagen · 05-31-2009, 02:34 AM

whew! It's hard to return from Shabbos and YomTov to so much (fun) work

ps. I like the new Illusione mj12.

mash · 05-31-2009, 11:22 AM

Thanks for this thread Rabbi. I have more of a comment than a question if that's OK.
I went to Hebrew day school (Talmud Torah) until high school in Canada. Our Hebrew Teachers were Israeli, the principals were generally American Rabbis.
We had one principal who was South African. One day I got sent to his office for lighting a firecracker in class. He told me that my punishment would be to research Apartheid and write an essay on it. This was in the early 1970's. Even at the time, I thought that was pretty cool. This was very progressive and thoughtful compared to all the other punishments I'd gotten. In those days, nobody knew what Apartheid was here.
Funny the things that you remember.

TomHagen · 05-31-2009, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mash

Thanks for this thread Rabbi. I have more of a comment than a question if that's OK.
I went to Hebrew day school (Talmud Torah) until high school in Canada. Our Hebrew Teachers were Israeli, the principals were generally American Rabbis.
We had one principal who was South African. One day I got sent to his office for lighting a firecracker in class. He told me that my punishment would be to research Apartheid and write an essay on it. This was in the early 1970's. Even at the time, I thought that was pretty cool. This was very progressive and thoughtful compared to all the other punishments I'd gotten. In those days, nobody knew what Apartheid was here.
Funny the things that you remember.

very nice recollection...

keep doing mitzvos!!

TomHagen · 06-04-2009, 03:41 PM

My recommended site for the 7 Laws of Noach:

www.noahide.org is rebuilding and has been down.

Here is an alternative very good site:

http://www.chabad.org/search/keyword...ahide-Laws.htm

tchariya · 06-04-2009, 05:12 PM

Why is it that Rabbis always enter a bar with a Priest and/or Minster and/or Pastor?

Example....and stop me if you have already heard this one...
<joke>
A priest, a preacher and a Rabbi walked into their favorite bar, where they would get together two or three times a week for drinks and to talk shop.

On this particular afternoon, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first.
"Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.

The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
</joke>

TomHagen · 06-08-2009, 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tchariya

Why is it that Rabbis always enter a bar...

To say L'chaim - To Life!!

M1903A1 · 06-08-2009, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TomHagen

To say L'chaim - To Life!!

Yes...I remember that well from "Fiddler On The Roof"!

TomHagen · 06-08-2009, 11:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by M1903A1

Yes...I remember that well from "Fiddler On The Roof"!

One needs first hand experience in saying L'chaim!!

A Farbrengen!!

05-31-2009, 02:34 AM	#1
TomHagen Rabbinic Consigliere Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tattejuaje Location: NY Posts: 601 Trading: (12)	Re: Ask The Rabbi!! whew! It's hard to return from Shabbos and YomTov to so much (fun) work ps. I like the new Illusione mj12. __________________ Cigar Asylum Minyan///Corona Gorda Comparison Thread Do Acts of Goodness and Kindness!!

05-31-2009, 11:22 AM	#2
mash Adjusting to the Life Join Date: Nov 2008 First Name: Kevin Posts: 435 Trading: (2)	Re: Ask The Rabbi!! Thanks for this thread Rabbi. I have more of a comment than a question if that's OK. I went to Hebrew day school (Talmud Torah) until high school in Canada. Our Hebrew Teachers were Israeli, the principals were generally American Rabbis. We had one principal who was South African. One day I got sent to his office for lighting a firecracker in class. He told me that my punishment would be to research Apartheid and write an essay on it. This was in the early 1970's. Even at the time, I thought that was pretty cool. This was very progressive and thoughtful compared to all the other punishments I'd gotten. In those days, nobody knew what Apartheid was here. Funny the things that you remember.

06-04-2009, 03:41 PM	#4
TomHagen Rabbinic Consigliere Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tattejuaje Location: NY Posts: 601 Trading: (12)	Re: Ask The Rabbi!! My recommended site for the 7 Laws of Noach: www.noahide.org is rebuilding and has been down. Here is an alternative very good site: http://www.chabad.org/search/keyword...ahide-Laws.htm __________________ Cigar Asylum Minyan///Corona Gorda Comparison Thread Do Acts of Goodness and Kindness!!

06-04-2009, 05:12 PM	#5
tchariya Taters of the lost Ark Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Illinois Posts: 592 Trading: (13)	Re: Ask The Rabbi!! Why is it that Rabbis always enter a bar with a Priest and/or Minster and/or Pastor? Example....and stop me if you have already heard this one... <joke> A priest, a preacher and a Rabbi walked into their favorite bar, where they would get together two or three times a week for drinks and to talk shop. On this particular afternoon, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it. Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation." Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus." They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start." </joke>