Did I do wrong? Long read very adult/serious issue

Jeez Scott...cynical much? lol

I said the same thing to a guy, how women can be manipulative, and mom heard me. Had a thirty minute car ride with her telling me I lacked tact and consideration.

60% of marriages end in divorce I read somewhere else, and then found it better worded:

"About 60 percent of all marriages that eventually end in divorce do so
within the first 10 years..."

[http://www.divorcereform.org/nyt05.html]

[shilala]

Originally Posted by kzm007

Jeez Scott...cynical much? lol

I said the same thing to a guy, how women can be manipulative, and mom heard me. Had a thirty minute car ride with her telling me I lacked tact and consideration.

60% of marriages end in divorce I read somewhere else, and then found it better worded:

"About 60 percent of all marriages that eventually end in divorce do so
within the first 10 years..."

[http://www.divorcereform.org/nyt05.html]

I'm not the least bit cynical. Just been there, done that.

I'm a firm believer in True Love, and am riding the wave right now. Took a lot of years and a lot of lessons to learn enough and grow up enough for it to work. It's incredible, beyond words.
I think girls grow out of that kind of crap when they become women, too.
Probably why Mom laid into your ass.

Originally Posted by shilala

I'm not the least bit cynical. Just been there, done that.

I'm a firm believer in True Love, and am riding the wave right now. Took a lot of years and a lot of lessons to learn enough and grow up enough for it to work. It's incredible, beyond words.
I think girls grow out of that kind of crap when they become women, too.
Probably why Mom laid into your ass.

Bingo!!!

I think every man needs an ex-wife... It shows you how evil woman can be yet teaches you what you will and won't put up with in regards to the future women you date. And when you find the right one after that you are that much smarter and willing to make it work.

And your comment about women growing out of that is spot on. That's why my last girlfriend was 42 and the current gf and hopefully wife is 33. For the record I'm only 26.

[yourchoice]

Scott and Carlos, a lot of sage advise given. Agree agree agree.

The only thing I will add (for an overall happy marriage/relationship) is do everything you can to not go to bed (meaning sleep ) angry with one another. This is tough to do 100% of the time, but worth it otherwise.

Originally Posted by kzm007

...funny thing is, this thread started because I wanted to know if it was right sending her an expensive picture frame since "I don't know her."

I should have simply asked if giving her such a pricey gift was acceptable, and left her past, and the other girl out of it...but again, I was unsure because I have already done many things for her, as a friend. I thought a fuller story would lead to a fuller decision, you see?

I hope that makes sense now, and thank you all for the help.

Your back story enabled better advise IMO. My advise? No, you shouldn't have sent the expensive frame. As others have said, move on. Find someone who you can interact with face to face, close to home. Starting out on-line is fine...so long as very frequent and personal interaction is possible, and possible sooner rather than later. A very good friend of mine wasted 3 years of his life dealing with a similar long distance, on-line relationship until he finally realized it was pointless. You asked for an opinion, there's mine.

Originally Posted by coastietech

I think every man needs an ex-wife... It shows you how evil woman can be yet teaches you what you will and won't put up with in regards to the future women you date. And when you find the right one after that you are that much smarter and willing to make it work.

I couldn't disagree more. My wife and I dated in high school, through college, have now been married eleven years, have two kids and...to be honest with you...I don't think I could be happier. Am I lucky? Damn right, I am.

[Blueface]

Originally Posted by yourchoice

My wife and I dated in high school, through college, have now been married eleven years, have two kids and...to be honest with you...I don't think I could be happier. Am I lucky? Damn right, I am.

Same here.
I am 50 and she is 49.
We met when I was 17 and she had just turned 16.
Had a brief breakup after our initial six months of dating, that lasted for 6 months also, due to my feuding with her mom and deciding to move on elsewhere.

Aside from what I have commented for my personal relationship success, I think it is important to also NEVER, EVER see it as a solid, secure relationship.
ALWAYS view it as what it is, very fragile. It can fall apart at any moment on any given day. With that in mind, you better understand that in order to not allow it to end, you need to continue to work at it. As I jokingly tell my wife every anniversary now for the past 27 years, "honey, I accept to renew our lease for one more year, for one more day at a time".